Hitchhikers guide to Steven
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Its amazing how one little Misfile can really mess up your day...and your planet!
1. Chapter 1

Hitchhikers Guide to Steven

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

-Arthur Dent is an ordinary man with an ordinary life...he has just gotten up in time to see-

A similar house to his being bulldozed to make an expressway.

Due to a clerical error, his neighbors house had been bulldozed instead.

This wouldn't be realized until latter.

At which point the typical politician response would be taken:

Pretending that this was intended from the start and squeezing more money from their constituents to cover the difference.

Arthur Dent would never know this of course...Nor would he ever know that a similar misfile had saved his world!...a similar planet(both in appearance and name) in far off galaxy was not so lucky...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**

 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

Hitchhikers Guide to Steven ch. 2

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

 **-It's an important and popular fact  
that things are not always  
what they seem. **

**For instance, on the planet Earth,  
man had always assumed  
that he was the most intelligent  
species occupying the planet,  
instead of the third most intelligent.**

 **The second most intelligent creatures  
were dolphins, who, curiously enough,  
had long known of the impending  
destruction of the planet Earth.**

 **They'd made many attempts  
to alert mankind,**

 **but most of their communications  
were misinterpreted  
as amusing attempts to punch footballs  
or whistle for tidbits.**

 **So they eventually decided they would  
leave Earth by their own means.**

 **The last ever dolphin message  
was misinterpreted  
as a sophisticated attempt  
to do a backward somersault  
through a hoop, whistling  
The Star-Spangled Banner.**

 **In fact, the message was this:  
"So long and thanks for all the fish. "**

… **...**

 **It should also be noted that Teenage rebellion is an inevitable stage in the life cycle of most sentient species(one notable exception being the chrono-sapiens who just quantum leap right past that whole sad stage...which is awkward when you find yourself in bed with a woman who claims to be your wife but you have no memory of her having fast forward through the whole thing...especially when she's lying.).**

 **There have been many attempts to purge it through genetic engineering, time travel, reverse-civil disobedience...all have meet with either staggering failure...or gone horribly right.**

 **In any case it should be noted that while most of the dolphins left the earth at the same time. A couple of adolescent briefly doubled back.**

 **Thinking it be funny to get their good deed for the century out of the way and help a pretty girl that irritated their parents by literally flipping their world upside down...if this should open the door for inter-species 'action' down the line...oh who are we kidding? We all know that was there first thought!**

… **...**

Laupis Lazuli went through a turmoil of emotions. First she was scared for the lives of the Dolphins that swam too close to Malachite. Then she was confused when she suddenly defused against her will and Jasper ended up sealed in a weird un-melting ice. Then she was amazed when the simple creatures revealed themselves to be not so simple. Then horror when told what was about to happen to the earth-

STEVEN!

…...

 **ADDITIONAL READINGS:** QU-09L's '101 ways to pick up alien chicks that might kill you', Glabor of graph-D's 'Miscommunication and you; now do shut up!', And Ulan-kalothigs new blockbuster trilogy( 'Why teenagers are a bad thing, Why teenagers are a good thing, and Why teenagers are neither good nor bad and we should just keep our noses out of it!')

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


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